Are You Cliterate? by Suzanne Mathis McQueen

Are you Cliterate?

I consider her to be a most important rediscovery.

Her name is “clitoris”, a hugely important pleasure treasure who’s holistic intelligence, secrets, SIZE, and potential for saving one’s sanity has been cruelly banished and kept out for way too long. Along with the female cycle and the VaJayJay, she is yet another locked-away, buried, code of female conduct and function which is finally being unearthed by one interesting author, artist, or everyday woman-after-another in the ongoing effort to reveal the authentic and powerful female—one’s true state of being. 

Sure, anyone who knows anything at all about lovemaking knows to touch, lubricate, rub, massage, lick, or suck the clit. Sometimes it leads to orgasm and sometimes it doesn’t. Certainly and thankfully there are lovers out there who have it going on in this regard, but it’s more than this. We women want more information and sexual equality. We are very interested in knowing exactly how big that thing inside of us is and the role it plays in not only pleasure and orgasm, but bringing respect and happiness back into the lives of women globally. 

In her Ted Talk, Nicole Daedone let’s us know that orgasm through clit attention is the Cure for Hunger in the Western Woman. Mary Roach tells us 10 Things We Didn’t Know About Orgasm. Mara Altman goes on a vision quest for the Big O. 

And now artist, Sophia Wallace, is getting visual.  She wants you to be Cliterate.

The Clitoris’s true potential is not only rarely utilized or focused on, but there seems to be an equal amount of derogatory excuses of why it just isn’t worth the bother, which in turn, tells us that pleasuring women in life is not worth the bother. Worse though, are cultural and societal attitudes and  practices that eliminate the clit altogether in order to eliminate the pleasure of the woman altogether in order to control her behavior altogether. Metaphorically, the elimination of the clitoris can be experienced all around us where women are sexually portrayed virtually everywhere in the media to sell almost every thing, but are ultimately, personally de-feminized in their equal entitlement to sexual pleasure. 

Even though the mostly hidden clitoris is often longer than a not-erect penis, it doesn’t take a genius to note the societal preference given to making sure men are sexually satiated because they “need it” and the presumption that women don’t really care about sex all that much. Take Las Vegas for example (or any other place in the world for that matter). It’s easy for men to buy sexual release and touch if they need it (whether it’s low or high end prostitution), but if you’re a woman? Forget it. The general population believes women would never do such a thing and that we have no such needs. It’s not only ridiculous, but it keeps women feeling lonely, sexually frustrated, not valued, and untouchable. Physically, psychologically, emotionally, or metaphorically, it’s all cruelty toward women and violence against them no matter which way you look at it. And this is what Sophia Wallace is speaking the truth about with her Cliteracy project..

The Clitoris. It’s not enough to know you have one. Claiming Your Clit is yet one more important step to claiming and integrating your female sexuality into your entire holistic and authentic self and knowing what you deserve. 

We’ve only begun, in recent years, talking about the clitoris, orgasm, the female cycle, menopause, and the vagina. Next up: I want to see the world discover a treasured, sacred feminine recipe for reliable contraception, or see created, a form of the birth control pill that is actually good for the female and keeps her hormonal rhythm in tact. For the same reasons these other sexually focused features were excluded from importance and power, finding holistically good-for-the-woman contraception through ancient wisdom or current super science is not coming along quickly.  I know it is out there, but I think unfortunately, it will first take believing that women deserve sovereignty over their female bodies and lives before sincere action will be taken.

“Reproduction really translates to sex and creation. Both can be sacred, and both can be exploited. Both are controversial,and so are women because of them.” ~ 4 Seasons in 4 Weeks: Awakening the Power, Wisdom, and Beauty in Every Woman’s Nature, page xxii

* Huff Post Women, August 2013,


Still Using Tampons or Pads?

This is a great article from Collective-Evolution’s blog to help you sort out the products you’re using. When it comes to pads and tampons, 4 Seasons in 4 Weeks only supports the use of organic cotton products, including washable, reusable pads. CE gives good info on using a cup as well.

Still Using Tampons or Pads? You Should Read This.

By Alanna Ketler, January 13, 2013

What is something that every woman has to endure in her lifetime? You got it, a menstruation cycle. On average a woman will have her period once a month, for about 5 days, for around 40 years of her life! During this time, we need to use various products stay clean and fresh. There has got to be a market in there! The Tampon and Pad industry is a $718 Million dollar market, and tampons and pads are necessities. This got me questioning the production and ethical value behind these products. They are mass-produced, and heavily marketed and cheaply made, out of bleached rayon and plastics. Why is it that we never see ads for the much safer alternatives such as cotton products, reusable washable pads and menstruation cups? Any of these alternatives are much more economical and are about a gillion times safer for the environment. Up until a few months ago, I didn’t even know that there were alternative products, or even think that there was any potential risk from using generic menstruation products. Read More…

The Perfect Time for Attracting What You Desire

Now that we are one week into 2013, I hope this new beginning finds your various energy systems rested, rebooted, and ready to put into action your many visions for balanced success in the coming year.

New Year’s Eve and Day is always an auspicious time of the year and one of many phases in our cyclical calendar—the rhythmic time clock of our lives. The New Year, like the New Moon phase, is an end and a beginning, finishing the year with reflection and ideas—shedding the old to make room for fresh anticipation of what is to come with the growing winter light. New Year’s Day is one of rest and enjoyment. A ceremony and celebration of life with parades, footballs games, or perhaps organizing like crazy. Maybe it’s one of silence and relaxation or a hike in the woods.  It’s the day we reboot.

Today is January 7th and it feels different. We’ve moved on. We’ve transitioned, and we’re ready for action.

This is a perfect example of the beginning of what I call Week 2, Winter, of the female monthly rhythm. This logical and predictable pattern has ended its resting and rebooting week and has transitioned into the action week. Like Fall, the first week of a woman’s monthly rhythm finishes the former cycle by shedding the uterine lining in order to begin building a new one, just as a tree sheds its leaves, getting rid of one cycle of growth before beginning a new one.

Week 2, Winter, of the female monthly rhythm is the week of Love and Connection—home, hearth, and romance, as well as building projects and attracting those we wish to do business with. Hormonally, our estrogen goes from it’s lowest to it’s highest all in one week in order to build a uterine nest, making us as beautifully brilliant as a snowy mountain peak, growing more stunning by the minute. Mother Nature is primping and coaxing us to attract a mate as we approach ovulation (Week 3, Spring fever).  Just as Week 1, Fall, was compared to the New Moon, I compare Week 2, Winter, to the waxing, growing moon, heading toward our fullest phase. We are eager to take action on the seedlings of vision we had during our resting phase, and excited about communicating with our loved ones, building more connected relationships. “In the same way that the Moon is filling with light, you are filling with energy” (page 142).

Just as women can follow this January 7th advice during the 2nd week of their rhythm every single month, this time of year gives everyone the opportunity to set into motion all that one desires. Organize, connect, and take action to make things happen! Put on the music you love, dress well, and get out there to network, meet friends for coffee, or snuggle by the fire with your sweetheart. Have heart-to-hearts talks with your loved ones NOW to create a year-long environment based on love and good will. For women, these Week 2, Winter connections establish a solid foundation for a mindfully heartfelt month.

May you have fun carrying out your intentions and attracting good people into your life. I wish you health, good fortune, and the courage to continue making positive change in 2013.

Women’s Festivals 2011

Santa Barbara, March 4th and 5th, 2011

“How can we be empowered females when we don’t have power over the thing that makes us female?” This was my mantra this weekend at the Women’s Festivals in Santa Barbara.

I loved this conference. First off, how can you not love something that takes place in Santa Barbara? Could there be more perfect weather and natural landscape? The Santa Barbarians (as I heard them call themselves) reflect this exactly: warm and friendly people with a naturally organic sophistication who are easy to be around. We wanted to stay and we’ll be back for sure.

The event itself was bustling. Patty DeDominic and Mary Schnack are the visionaries behind it, heading up this thing for 4 years now, and from what I can see, work their butts off to make it happen.  Not only that, but they underwrite practically the entire event themselves. My “in” was through Patty—I had been introduced to her virtually by my buddy and SEO coach, Ed Taylor (Ed is also our Santa Clause in Ashland, Oregon, where I live). Patty and Ed are both in the big leagues of speakers and seminar promotion and go way back.

Patty reminds me of Martha Stewart, only warm. Not that I don’t like Martha Stewart—I do! I think Martha is, for lack of a better term, awesome. I even bought some of her stock when she was in jail at the chagrin of my investment guy who felt she and her stock were done. Not me. Just because she was temporarily halted doesn’t mean her super x-ray visionary brain died. I knew she’d be back. I may admire Martha for many things, but she’s not necessarily someone I’d want to know personally. She scares the hell out of me. Patty on the other hand, is passionate about supporting women and it shows. Her eyes twinkle when she’s on stage and when she talks to you. Her soul shows through. Oh! And did I mention that my Martha Stewart stock tripled at one point? Too bad I didn’t put more money into that!

The hall itself at the Earl Warren Showgrounds is less to be desired though. Everything was in one large room and the ambient noise made it so that no one could hear a damn thing. There were a lot of speakers there, but the focus tended to be on the exhibitor booths. Keynote speakers had very few people listening, even though all of them were very good. Let’s just say it’s much easier for a speaker to be in their zone when there are people listening. The screen available for power points and videos was flat-out inadequate. I don’t have any solutions for these issues, except to find a different location, which is something I know the committee is actively working on for next year. I was a Roundtable Discussion Leader amongst many others. We had to speak loudly at our table to hear each other, our collective voices raising the roof a little higher.

I can’t say enough good things about the organizers, the booths, the speakers, the attendees, and the location (city) of the event. I could go on and on about the great connections I made in detail. My experience was so positive in this regard that I’d like to participate again in the future.

But here’s the real reason I’m writing: I’m bored.

I’m bored to death with the idea of women entrepreneurs. I mean, I’ve been doing this shtick for a long time. We were talking about women being the fastest growing segment of business owners back in 1988, yet, I heard speakers talking about it this weekend as if it’s a revelation. Even then, as a president of Women Entrepreneurs of Oregon, I was asking the question of “why” we still needed a woman’s business club. We did still need a woman’s business networking arena, but I’m one of those people who feel that if we don’t know why, then it’s all for not.

It’s not enough for me to put more women in higher places if we’re not going to address the personal challenges that are different for women than men, helping them to improve their circumstances so that they can do business. This means talking about the things no one wants to talk about: taking back ownership of our female cycles and reproductive challenges, sexual abuse at home, relationship teamwork with our partners, and balancing work with caring for our children and aging parents, all while trying to make a living. Thank goodness that at least cute, comfortable shoes have finally been created.

I would like to acknowledge Gutsy Gals, who were out there videotaping women and their stories to inspire girls, which was inspiring to me.

So here I am, sitting at my, yes, round table with not a soul who wants to come to my table to talk about this ongoing womb and female soul challenge of ours. As we speak, we’re about to lose affordable family planning clinics in this country and from what I can tell, women, timid or powerful don’t want to talk about it. Sleeping Beauties, one and all, who just wish it all would go away while little boys in high political places (who have never as much had a period in their life) put our bodies up for vote as if we’re not in the room. Perhaps we’re not.

Luckily for me, sister Red Web Foundation member, Barbara Hannalore, showed up to the festival (just for me!), as did my “birthday twin” friend-from-Ashland, Anne Herrick, who had her Orenda booth at the festival. Thank goodness for friends. This lured others to come to our table and we ended up with a handful of women and a powerful discussion. One woman who wasn’t sure she wanted to be there at first, ended up saying she was very, very happy she stayed. I knew I like her from the beginning.

Ann Doyle, author and one of the first women sportscasters to walk into a men’s locker-room, gave an outstanding motivational keynote. In it, encouraging women to step past their comfort zones, perhaps even run for office, mentioned the Spanish term, “Te toca”, meaning, “It’s your turn”.

I hear you, Ann, and thanks for the inspiration. Celebrating Women’s History Month, as well as International Women’s Day (tomorrow, March 8th and my daughter’s Sweet 16 birthday!) I’m vowing to take a stronger leadership position. I’ve been talking about this womb business for a long time now, so I guess it’s “my turn” to help women and supportive men talk about it without fear. We’ve been bullied long enough.

A very good place to start

It’s important to know why you do the things you do so that you don’t end up in a place you don’t want to be.
Understanding your natural female rhythm is a very good (and crucial) place to start.

Men, Dads, and the Steady Burn

Since, in my opinion, men carry the rhythm of the sun, and women, the moon, I find it FANTASTIC that Father’s Day falls on the longest sunlight day of the year?!

Think of it this way: Before artificial lighting, women used to ovulate at full moon. When full, we see the moon as receptive to the full light of the sun. Women, when ovulating and shining most brightly, are most receptive to the full light of their man. I think of men as having a steady burn that wanes in and out possibly every 3 months like the … Read Moreequinox and solstices. Women wane in and out like the moon, monthly. It might not be the steady burn, but when they DO peak and shine, like the full moon, it is powerful and intoxicating to everybody.

You, In Charge

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just get up in the morning feeling great after a perfectly sound night’s sleep, and have that last all day long until we went to bed, each and everyday, throughout our entire lives?

Having perfect health from the day you’re born until the day you die is not likely. However, you can greatly improve the way you feel by doing something that not many of us are taught to do: truly get to know yourself.

Depending on the country, the culture, the religion, and the time period you were raised in, most of us were taught a self-care protocol that most likely programmed us to consciously or unconsciously understand that we are not in charge of much. The people in charge of looking after us have/had very good intentions when making decisions for us and generally take/took their jobs very seriously regarding our best interest. Yet, this care for us, pretty much across the board, is based on learned knowledge either from an educational institution or passed down from generation to generation. Intuition or personal observation is generally disregarded and seen as arrogant, ignorant, and/or immature. So we’re taught that until we have the proper credentials, the doctor knows best, your parents know best, the food, exercise, and psychological authorities of the day know best, the hairdresser knows best, celebrities know best, the clergy knows best because God knows best. Basically, any unique thoughts or personal studies of your own about your health and well-being are based on nothing, because you are no authority. You are not in control, Missy.

Unfortunately, over time, the resulting tragedy of this thinking is that most of us become out-of-control and out-of-touch with our own bodies and our own ways of perceiving the world. Because we have been taught that we are not responsible for what happens to us, we have not been taught how to take charge when needed and take stake in our own futures. When we don’t know how, or it doesn’t come naturally, we dread having to adjust our food, exercise or attitudes. It becomes a major chore and often, we just skip the chore, rationalizing that it won’t do any good anyway, and look for a little pill to cure us. We look for somebody else to fix us. We learn to blame our poor health or personalities on our aging, genetics, job, families, weather, or destiny.

Not that these factors don’t contribute to your poor health.

They are challenges that you must find a solution to, not chalk up to being out of your control. There is not much that is out of your control. You must learn to identify and adjust or problem-solve. It’s time to reclaim your power over yourself. Most religions believe that even God helps those who help themselves. I personally believe that destiny can only be blamed after you’ve considered and done everything you possibly can to treat your body and mind and spirit really well.

Only when you decide to take charge over your body and your life, to constantly observe your actions and behaviors, can transformation for the better actually occur. Only then can the above-mentioned authorities (the doctor, exercise gurus, the clergy) be of any real help to you, and only then can you be of any real help to them. Your consultations with them will produce greater results because your questions will actually have meaning and your conversations will be deeper.

If the personal and professional mentors in your life find this new-found self-interest offensive, it’s time to find some new ones. There are definitely people or programs out there that will support you in your quest for health and happiness. Keep your mind open to new thoughts and studies that could be of benefit to you. Learn what you can; read and listen, but remember, you are the final decision maker regarding you . You are the only one putting food in your mouth, exercising your body, getting to bed at a certain time, and monitoring the thoughts in your head. No one is babysitting you and no one else who is going to do this for you. You’re a big girl now and it’s up to you.