All are particularly peaceful at my abode this morning. The quiet reward for living a little more ruggedly in a rural environment is the welcomed sound of the winged ones: the birds, the flying insects, and even a couple of roosters in the distance.
It’s 5 am and I open all doors and windows to allow the heat to escape in exchange for the relief of a respectable temperature. The downside is that a mosquito or two rushes in, but I take that as a gentle reminder to create my mosquito traps.
I’m tired. Super tired. Not the kind of tired where there is something to worry about, but the kind of tired that happens after too many big events in a row. It’s the kind that is necessary; a survival mechanism triggering a person to now take time to rejuvenate and regroup.
I specialize in the hormonal lunar rhythm of women and how it applies both realistically and symbolically to our day-to-day lives in order to be in harmony with it. If you were in a workshop with me right now, you’d hear me telling you that when a woman is tapped-in and practiced, she can feel the day after ovulation.
Today, for me, is exactly like the day after ovulation.
Ovulation is the zenith of the whole female operation and basically a 12-36-hr. event. It’s the queen bee of the hive made up of female cycle days. It’s what the whole fuss is about: the party our bodies work so hard to prepare for every month. Symbolically, it represents full moon, full expression energy among many other things.
Once the event of ovulation is set into motion and parties in a raw and primal way all night, hormones dip as others begin to rise. This creates a dip in body energy that feels like “relief”, which activates reflection, as well as wisdom. One can also feel tired and not even realize why.
This scenario can happen metaphorically in one’s life as well.
Building toward a non-work-related production, I reached my symbolic ovulatory fullest expression yesterday and it came in the form of a dancing in Ashland’s 4th of July parade.
My friend, Wendy and I put a call out for fun-seekers and created a doable dance routine for people who dance well and who don’t dance so well in order to just have a great time and add our bit of spice to the parade. In 2007 we created the Firecracker Queens since our big local parade is the 4th of July. We hadn’t done it since then and didn’t have time to do it now, but we knew it was now or never.
Like ovulation, there is a tremendous amount of prep and build-up leading to the event. In many ways, preparing for the parade is a little like preparing for a half marathon. Training happens over several months and a huge amount of emphasis is placed on having the right personal set-up, hydration, and comfort to make it through without fainting. In our case, it was two months of dance practice in extreme heat temperatures, gathering and paying for the costumes and accessories, sound system, vehicles, etc., and constant communication with each other on our secret Facebook page. I personally got up at exactly 3:46 am yesterday morning to gather last minute items and race to get two vehicles in place at the front of our assigned street to hold our spot so as not to be at the end of the parade (first come, first serve is the short version of how this works).
A lot of thought was put into planning every detail of our routine, including what a dancer would do if she felt she was going to pass out. The morning graced us with cooler temps and a slight breeze. Judging always happens before the actual parade and we won 1st place in our category. Once out on the parade route, we had a total blast, the crowd responded, and we nailed it. It felt incredibly magical. Every dancer made it through and did really, really well. Like the female cycle, the preparation takes many days and the actual act it is supporting only lasts a few hours. In the case of our parade routine, we put an enormous amount of effort into it and were probably out on the parade route for a total of 25 minutes. Then it was over.
After that, some of us walked over to the after-parade festivities at the park and then trekked all the way back to our cars, which were at the beginning of the parade route, still in full costume. It was super hot and we were exhausted. I went home, literally peeled my dress off my skin, removed my wig, made a cold bath, got out, and fell onto my bed. Later I went to a pool party and then another party – both very sweet. I ate decent snacks, a good dinner, and drank no alcohol, only hydrating stuff. I finished the day with watching fireworks going off at various parts of the valley from the 3rd-floor deck of the pirate ship.
I woke up this morning not being able to move very well, but in a good sort of way, kind of. I got up and went into the bathroom. I had a blue sparkly heart sticker stuck to my chest (maybe someone hugged me who had it on them?), traces of long-lasting red lipstick on the edges of my mouth, a bruised knot on my forehead, and my hair doing what I call its ratty toddler thing, along with not only one bobby pin but a small French clip still embedded in its twisty layers. I removed those, as well as the sticker, and left the rest to deal with after breakfast. Oh, and the bruise came from moving a poolside lounge chair by the arms yesterday and having the heavy metal backrest slam forward and down onto my forehead.
Standing out on the pirate ship deck totally naked this morning, screwed up hair and makeup, taking in what coolness I know is not going to stay for long, I reflected on this morning-after day.
I’ve been going full throttle for 6-weeks or so: too many hours of travel but loved a family wedding, held a 4-day retreat at a hot springs resort, worked a 3-day festival and held a workshop in extreme heat temps. Normally I might be able to rest the right amount and keep going. But in the middle of it all was the inevitable decision to put my cat down, which was the devastating low for all of this high energy.
My sweet friend, Darryl pointed out that sometimes we have animals that become our right-hand person. Todd the Loverboy Cat was that for me (for too many reasons to list), so in the midst of all of these metaphorically reproductive references, I am really only aware of one thing: I’m grieving right now. I know many people can’t understand why you would grieve an animal like a person, but we do for certain ones, and I am.
So, I’m going to continue with my work-related commitments and meetings, but am going to lay low in all other ways for a bit. Now that I’m on the other side of my symbolic full-throttle building and full expression ovulation phases of my right-now life rhythm, I am going to take the time to reflect, honor, and go inward. Love and thanks for all of your beautiful messages and your always lovely support. I’m going to step away from posting for a bit and be back when I’m ready. ~ Suz